A few months ago I came across a great talk on the TED website, by the Nigerian author, Chimamanda Adichie, in which she notes that if we hear only one person's story( for instance about their culture,country) you may end up misunderstanding many things and assuming that one story applies to all.
When I started this blog i tried to come up with a name that resonated with me at the time and how i felt, for instance, being African is what i relate to the most, it is who i am, on a deeper level if you ask me where am i from i will tell you i am a Kenyan, born to a Ugandan Father and a Kenyan mother, but brought up in Kenya. What do I see myself as, you may ask? I view myself as a part of the human culture, first and foremost, then as an African, then by my actual roots which is partly Ugandan, partly Kenyan.
The same goes with the images and depictions you see of Africans on TV, don't assume one story tells you the story of the African continent as a whole. there are so many sides to the african continent and the african people, the fact that we are all africans does not mean we all have the same stories to share. What you see from the media is simply a fraction of what goes on, on the ground. in fact for a long time Africans were not able to share their side of the story to the world, instead other people told it for us. This is now slowly being challenged with more accessibility to the internet, people lending their own voice to what is going on in the continent.
As I type this blog, im sharing my own personal story, do not let the blog title make you asume that I speak for all African women, i do not. This is my own personal journey that i seek to share with the outside world and more as a self reflecting too for myself. You're free to share you;re thought and give input as well.
Listen to the TED talk here:
Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story | Video on TED.com
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
What I wish somebody had told me when I was pregnant.
The other day my husband asks me, " Now that you've gone through pregnancy, what advice would you give your friends and fist time mummies?"
Enjoy the Pregnancy
My answer is simple, take the time to actually enjoy the pregnancy. This is something i caught onto in the latter part of the pregnancy. But it believe it is also normal, because i had to go through all the crazy stuff at the beginning in order to finally be at peace about the pregnancy.
Expect the unexpected
For me, as you may have read in my previous post, the preganncy was completely unexpected, the first few months was therfore filled with so much worry. you have to understand i had just arrived in the country, the previous month before discovering i was pregnant is when i actually got my social security card. As you, may or may not know, without the card its pretty hard to do anything in America. I had no job and so questions such as how i'll take care of the baby with one salary was at the back of my head.
One day at a time
Ultimately as things progressed I had to remind myself that I had to lean on God, for ultimately He knows best, and His timing is always the best. I also just took things one day at a time. And as soon as I began doing this and taking stock of where i was i realised how blessed I was.
Side note: My story
As mentioned earlier i did not have a social security card. I joined my husband after moving to the US from Sydney, therefore there was still alot of things i needed to sort out, such as getting my ss. I finally got it, about 3 months before I knew I was pregnant. This information is important because i need a SS in order to sign up for my husbands benefits. So my SS arrived just in time for enrollment. Had I not gotten it by then, i would have missed on the enrollment of benefits date and would not have been covered for health insurance. At this stage i took the time to just tell God, thank you, because He was in control of the situation.
Until then, I couldn't even go to the doctors to have my first doctors visit. As you may or may not know things are different for foreigners, the general information that is out there pertains to free medical services or subsidised services is for citizens. Many people are not aware of thr rights of foreigners, therefore as far as i knew, all I could do was go to the Emergency room if i really required treatment or pay out of pocket. Luckily for us, i was enrolled under my husbands health insurance.
The next few months were pretty much what is considered normal in the pregnancy world, I had bad morning sickness was tired most of the time, but i loved it. I loved talking to my baby, I loved feeling her kick, i honestly loved the oooh and aahhs and congratulatory messages i received from total strangers. It was a nice phase.
Take everything in stride, it could be worse.....
I was informed that i had a huge fibroid inside me. Until this point, i had no clue i even had fibroids. I was freaked out about that would mean for my daughter and researched a lot about it. The doctors kept a close eye on it. In month 6, it degenerated, this caused a lot of pain for me, i endured a whole night of the pain, my husband was working all night and so went in the next morning, where the hospital kept me in for close observation. I was informed that my baby was okay and that i should take pain killers, ibruprofen, only medication allowed before the 24 week mark. Thankfully the pain subsided and honestly the rest of the pregnancy was quite simply wonderful. I enjoyed getting bigger and wobbly and really took it all in stried.
Finally read enough books
If you get the chance read all you can about pregnancy and the first year of motherhood once your baby is born. I didn't read the books on first year, until i gave birth and of course you know by then it is too late, you are simplyinaundated with motherhood. But as my Mum kept telling me, not too much, sometimes too much information just scares you from the whole process...i tend to agree with her.
Good friends or online community
They willn help you along the way with any information you want to know about and any concerns, its always nice to share with people who are going through the same thing as you.
Family is very important.....far away
There were times i wished my family was closer and not living in another continent, but it helped that my mother would call me a lot offer her advice and just check on my health and well being. I have some family in the States although not in the same State, they also would call and check in on me. They even threw me a baby shower.
Most important: remember that You are Blessed
For that be thankful, its a blessing what you are going through and while there may be many things or times when you are tempted to complain, just remember how blessed you are.
Enjoy the Pregnancy
My answer is simple, take the time to actually enjoy the pregnancy. This is something i caught onto in the latter part of the pregnancy. But it believe it is also normal, because i had to go through all the crazy stuff at the beginning in order to finally be at peace about the pregnancy.
Expect the unexpected
For me, as you may have read in my previous post, the preganncy was completely unexpected, the first few months was therfore filled with so much worry. you have to understand i had just arrived in the country, the previous month before discovering i was pregnant is when i actually got my social security card. As you, may or may not know, without the card its pretty hard to do anything in America. I had no job and so questions such as how i'll take care of the baby with one salary was at the back of my head.
One day at a time
Ultimately as things progressed I had to remind myself that I had to lean on God, for ultimately He knows best, and His timing is always the best. I also just took things one day at a time. And as soon as I began doing this and taking stock of where i was i realised how blessed I was.
Side note: My story
As mentioned earlier i did not have a social security card. I joined my husband after moving to the US from Sydney, therefore there was still alot of things i needed to sort out, such as getting my ss. I finally got it, about 3 months before I knew I was pregnant. This information is important because i need a SS in order to sign up for my husbands benefits. So my SS arrived just in time for enrollment. Had I not gotten it by then, i would have missed on the enrollment of benefits date and would not have been covered for health insurance. At this stage i took the time to just tell God, thank you, because He was in control of the situation.
Until then, I couldn't even go to the doctors to have my first doctors visit. As you may or may not know things are different for foreigners, the general information that is out there pertains to free medical services or subsidised services is for citizens. Many people are not aware of thr rights of foreigners, therefore as far as i knew, all I could do was go to the Emergency room if i really required treatment or pay out of pocket. Luckily for us, i was enrolled under my husbands health insurance.
The next few months were pretty much what is considered normal in the pregnancy world, I had bad morning sickness was tired most of the time, but i loved it. I loved talking to my baby, I loved feeling her kick, i honestly loved the oooh and aahhs and congratulatory messages i received from total strangers. It was a nice phase.
Take everything in stride, it could be worse.....
I was informed that i had a huge fibroid inside me. Until this point, i had no clue i even had fibroids. I was freaked out about that would mean for my daughter and researched a lot about it. The doctors kept a close eye on it. In month 6, it degenerated, this caused a lot of pain for me, i endured a whole night of the pain, my husband was working all night and so went in the next morning, where the hospital kept me in for close observation. I was informed that my baby was okay and that i should take pain killers, ibruprofen, only medication allowed before the 24 week mark. Thankfully the pain subsided and honestly the rest of the pregnancy was quite simply wonderful. I enjoyed getting bigger and wobbly and really took it all in stried.
Finally read enough books
If you get the chance read all you can about pregnancy and the first year of motherhood once your baby is born. I didn't read the books on first year, until i gave birth and of course you know by then it is too late, you are simplyinaundated with motherhood. But as my Mum kept telling me, not too much, sometimes too much information just scares you from the whole process...i tend to agree with her.
Good friends or online community
They willn help you along the way with any information you want to know about and any concerns, its always nice to share with people who are going through the same thing as you.
Family is very important.....far away
There were times i wished my family was closer and not living in another continent, but it helped that my mother would call me a lot offer her advice and just check on my health and well being. I have some family in the States although not in the same State, they also would call and check in on me. They even threw me a baby shower.
Most important: remember that You are Blessed
For that be thankful, its a blessing what you are going through and while there may be many things or times when you are tempted to complain, just remember how blessed you are.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Ghana's elaborate coffins
Wow I'm almost ashamed to admit that I learned about this while watching the Amazing Race. I know one would think if i have Ghanaian friends, just maybe, maybe one of them would have told me about it. NOPE.
So I'm watching the Amazing Race and the contestants happen to bein Ghana, I'll disregard some of the contestant's comments of the markets in Ghana smelling a bit "iffy"- thought that was just down right rude. Anyhoo.
You need to see how Ghanaians celebrate "Life in death", in the art work of the coffins they build for the dead. They are called coffins of the Ga tribe. The coffins they create a brightly colored,elaborate and festive. They represent something about how the deceased lived. For example a fisherman may get a fish coffin, a carpenter may get a hammer coffin. Take a look below at this wonderful artistry:
You can read more about this tradition from this link:
http://observers.france24.com/content/20100907-ghana-fun-shaped-coffins-bury-deceased-beer-fish-onion-bible
So I'm watching the Amazing Race and the contestants happen to bein Ghana, I'll disregard some of the contestant's comments of the markets in Ghana smelling a bit "iffy"- thought that was just down right rude. Anyhoo.
You need to see how Ghanaians celebrate "Life in death", in the art work of the coffins they build for the dead. They are called coffins of the Ga tribe. The coffins they create a brightly colored,elaborate and festive. They represent something about how the deceased lived. For example a fisherman may get a fish coffin, a carpenter may get a hammer coffin. Take a look below at this wonderful artistry:
You can read more about this tradition from this link:
http://observers.france24.com/content/20100907-ghana-fun-shaped-coffins-bury-deceased-beer-fish-onion-bible
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The beautiful one!!!
My daughter is asleep right now and as I stare at her as she sleeps, I have a big sense of pride and I get so mushy and emotional. She is simply the hest and I know every Mum says that but I truly am blessed.
She is is truly my angel......just wanted to share that.
She is is truly my angel......just wanted to share that.
My First Pregnancy
It was in Nov 2010, that I first started having my symptoms. I didn't think anything at first, as I just had the urge to belch a lot and it just would not come out, but as soon as I could, I got instant relief. I couldn't explain it. My husband's advice was, "you know what works for me darling, a bottle of ginger ale....that always helps me burp". So off we went and he bought me some ginger ale, needless to say, it didn't work. This symptom went on for about 2 weeks at which point I called my mum back in Africa, (please do not think Africa is a country, I'm just omitting mentioning where until I'm more comfortable with sharing info online), my mum said she suspected I was pregnant. I was quick to dismiss the idea because I had taken the morning after pill when I had suspected that we had not been careful..... I didn't tell that to mum of course, she would have freaked out as she is still very traditional and really wanted grandchildren, even though she had 4 grand children already.
So I tell my husband, mum's thoughts and we go ahead and get a pregnancy test done, and bam! Yes I'm pregnant. I was so shocked. Of course you know we had to do a second and third test...even then my husband insisted no we have to do a blood test.
We finally accepted it and while it took us a while we were happy. It was not that we were not happy about the baby, we were happy, i guess we just felt we wished we would have been more financially stable.
So i found out in December that i was pregnant and broke the news gradually to the rest of our family. i told my sister first, i knew she would always be there to support and would help me not to freak out. My husband told his older sibling first and we thought it best to tell our folks in January.
Stay tuned for more of this story in the upcoming entries.
So I tell my husband, mum's thoughts and we go ahead and get a pregnancy test done, and bam! Yes I'm pregnant. I was so shocked. Of course you know we had to do a second and third test...even then my husband insisted no we have to do a blood test.
We finally accepted it and while it took us a while we were happy. It was not that we were not happy about the baby, we were happy, i guess we just felt we wished we would have been more financially stable.
So i found out in December that i was pregnant and broke the news gradually to the rest of our family. i told my sister first, i knew she would always be there to support and would help me not to freak out. My husband told his older sibling first and we thought it best to tell our folks in January.
Stay tuned for more of this story in the upcoming entries.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)